Friday, February 03, 2006

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HANWEN! (:


wednesday's chem lesson was way fun. we didn't went straight to CCS, we went to the gallery and slack instead. everyone was steady except for a few, but really had a great time. anyway, want to thank Mr andrew for the top(: it was nice.

i don't know what's with me today. i'm frustrated, irritated, stress and pissed. really felt like a trash. had moodswings for the whole two period after recess.
i was planning to sleep during POA as my attitude's really bad and i don't wanna piss the others off when the ball hit my table and woke me up. i'm like WHAT? i feel like bursting, it's not because of the ball, it's the insult i get earlier on. so i went out of class for about one period, i felt terrible. actually, i wanted to find mel and shirui, but i didn't want to disturb or affect them with my terrible attitude and all, so i went alone. walked around from the first level to the last and went to the toilet to calm myself down, back to class after that. after about 1min or so, i seriously could not stand the noise pollution in the class from one particular person, i walked out of class, taking the class pass totally without the teacher's permission. i just took it and walked off. sorry tengku and syafiq, i didn't know you both wanted to go out and was in a terrible state, sorry again. i came back and got pissed again by someone, it was maths period. i slept the whole way, i cried. sorry peishan, sorry shirui, sorry for my attitude again and again, i'll try to change alright? i love you two still.


i didn't know what i do that makes them mocked at me. it wasn't a great feeling. i didn't like the feeling of being insulted, who likes it? perhaps you? maybe i shall try it on you someday.




it's been like so long. in a silence, in a moment, everything's gone. you'll never get it back. maybe i wasn't your best friend from the beginning..not at all, i'm just the one whose willing to think it that very way. tried many ways to please you, but it don't works at all, i'm wasting my time. i'll never satisfy someone so great like you. you should find yourself a better friend, or maybe you've already found it. never thought that i'm such a bitching person to you, since you'd already said, let it be gone. but i'll be here still, i told you once i'm not leaving you, but you choose to leave. maybe it's better off this way. all the things you said, you turned it another way round. it may hurt, but i'll recover. you'd all the things, i was nothing, never existed in your world. tried letting you know how i felt, tried hinting you to come with us, tried many ways to make things seem better, try to make myself happier. i don't think it's working. you'd never thought about me, how i felt, what i need :( aren't you selfish?

...Consider it not so deeply.