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life's getting tougher each day. i'm beat. i'm tired of it, sick of everything. There are times where i just couldn't bring myself into reality, the fact that i let go and nothing gained. i'm the most idiotic person who could let reality over-takes me, led by its own ways, those ambigious path. Things just changed, it never came back afterall. it's been months and i couldn't fit in, uncertainties even. been thinking about all these, it's all because of me. everything was ruined by me, i was lying to myself simply because i was too foolishly dumb to even think that i'm once totally involved and belonged. if you accept someone as your friend once again doesn't mean that they would do the same thing, it was pretence. best friends are words, only words, and would be just words. your language, your everything is killing me, i freaking can't get over it. nobody seems to understand when i wanted to talk about this problem, the pain was unbearable, sooo painful :( i thought maybe i could lead a better life just like the other people in my school, but i was wrong. i lost my sense in direction, my everything, it will never ever come back no matter how hard i'm gonna try. over 2 years in ccss, my life's getting even worse. you need a bestfriend, you ain't willing to share one, let me know earlier. sometimes, i just don't wanna care, just don't wanna know anything anymore. no matter how hard i try to convince anyone, they just tells me off. alright, everything's my fault. i'm a friendship-breaker, i can't fit in, i'm a stupid idiotic stuck-up bitch. slowly, it'll mend the pieces, one by one...
...Consider it not so deeply.