Monday, October 30, 2006

bad day. i need to blog because i dont feel good the whole day. well, here goes..

Now, i hate the place, the place where we gonna practice our upcoming performance. even though what happened today was a minor matter, but it really upsets me alot, can't help it, i teared whenever i thought of it. i really feel very terrible, very very terrible. i guess no one understands, no one do. shah partnered me with jess. ser, it's not that i'm relunctant to partner her or anything...it's not.. it's because of my hands. MY STUPID PALMS. you know.. i also just wanna be like everyone, practice the dance with their partners, and holding on to their hands but i can't. i'm afraid of people getting disgusted abt my hands, i really hate it. i can't stop thinking about the whole incident, i really can't help it, this whole incident killed me today. even though i'm typing all these, but there's actually tears streaming down my face. yes, i hate my hands. i hate everything which happened on me. i guess i'll never forget today. i think shah got the wrong idea, it's really not about the partner, it's really just about my hands.
i feel terrible, totally.

...Consider it not so deeply.