Monday, November 06, 2006

sometimes, really get so sick with my attitude. one moment i'm 'on' and before i knew it, i'm 'off' the very next, didn't talk to them for one day or so. sometimes, when i say i wanna be alone, i was actually lying....i need someone to be there at times to show me care and concern. it feels really terrible to be alone, it makes you feel like dying. i cried the whole afternoon yesterday, was really feeling damn terrible. nobody even gave a damn about me, only my cousin, serene. she tried all her best to console me and all. thanks sister, sorry to let you see me in such unstable condition when we've not seen each other for 1 year or so. didn't manage to talk to you, i miss you so much. i sat in my room in tears for lets say erm more than 5 hours, serious. but yah, nobody was there. at that point of time, i got this sudden urge to cut myself. obviously i didn't, because all i want is attention, but not that way. still felt super upset and unhappy now, but i'm trying my best to be okay again.

was left alone at home today, watched anime. trinity blood was quite a nice show, about vampires. actually wanna watch bleach, but not sure whether i'm supposed to watch ep 16 or 17. i'm at trinity blood, ep 8. had been gulping down chinese medicine nowadaes, it really suck. i just had another one just now, it tastes damn awful, makes me feel like vomitting. felt terrible after drinking the med, decided to cancel my tuition again. i think everyone must be so stress with Os, best of luck to those. oh cant imagine it's my turn next year, so not ready. boo. seriously, the med makes me feel super sick now. alright, gonna watch trinity blood. bye.

...Consider it not so deeply.