('(oo)')melmel..

2008-05-22T21:26:00.000-07:00

SHIFTED.

2008-05-21T19:33:00.001-07:00

This irritating shit is irritating me like fcuk. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME.

2008-05-12T17:28:00.000-07:00

Been quite long since I last blogged. School is so not fun and all, I managed to survive for more than a month already and I'm proud of myself.

I got in my 1st round of hiphop IG Audition, now my next stop is the boot camp. I seriously don't know what to expect for this camp and I really hope that I can pass the second round of audition as well. I know this is really what I want, I'll really work so hard for it. All the best to me for my upcoming boot camp.

Hmmmm.. Shah started with our dance already. I love the choreography damn alot and my dance mates are great. Looking forward to the next dance practice as well even though I know I'm gonna be so tired and exhausted as my schedule is tightly packed. So, I will update soon if I've the time. Cya.

2008-04-26T01:18:00.000-07:00

3 weeks past and here's a conclusion from me.. Poly life seriously suck to the max.

3 more days to hiphop dance audition...wish me luck ):

2008-03-30T23:06:00.000-07:00

Went to Mao's birthday chalet with Kwan. haha felt super emo there as we hardly know anyone. Anyway, Kwan tortured me with 6 prawns by offering me 5 bucks. And later on, Mao came back with 2 more. I was like alr damn disgusted by the prawns and he actually came back with 2 more. So I bargained for at least 1 buck for 1 prawn and yes I earned 8 bucks :) I know this sounds retarded but I need money!

2008-03-17T20:11:00.000-07:00

I really dont know where the hell are they when I need them the most. I'm really sick and tired of everything alr. Thanks for ignoring me and leaving me to die.

2008-03-13T22:06:00.000-07:00

Here to update about my life. 1st -13th March.

Saturday, 1st March.
Danceworks '08. Got up rather early in the morning and headed to Sandrina's place to get our hair done. Since it was raining, we got delayed and reach sand's house at a later time. Also, there was only one machine for the temporary hair perm, so each of us have to take turns. Ok, we didn't realise that the hair perm thing could take us so long to complete it so we were damn late for our rehearsal at Vivo. Firstly, I was damn pissed when I reach there, as earlier on, many things happened. Secondly, we didnt really get to practice and feel the stage, it was not even a proper rehearsal to me as I didn't get to practice with my props. Yes, i was super touched when my ex tutor, Stacy, came over alone to support me and my team. So here goes the competition and expectedly, we didnt get into the finals. I'm okay with it, I knew I did enjoyed myself on stage so I didnt take it too hard on myself. Haha, it was a new experience for me since it was my very first year taking part in the open category. So, after the competition, went off with Edwin.

Sunday, 2nd March.
Went to church with Kwan. Had our lunch at Swensens.

Monday, 3rd March.
Went out with Lucas and Kwan. Headed to Funan to get our pay. My pay for the month of Feb was retardedly low.. I earned like 600 plus. I totally feel like killing myself man, I worked for like almost everyday and yet a part-timer can earn more than me! How sad can my life get! I earned like around $29.50 a day only? No commission, only basic pay. AND I HAVENT GET MY INCENTIVES! Ok nevermind. So, we ate at delifrance for our lunch. Went to town for shopping. Bought a green tee and a rather formal top. Then Vincent came over to meet us. Kwan went off to meet her friend while Lucas, Vincent and I had our dinner at Fish and Co. Catched a movie and took bus 518 back.

Tuesday, 4th.
Went out with Peishan, Jac, Xuanwei. Xuanwei went home not long after we reached City hall because she was nott feeling very well. Had a super heavy lunch at Hk cafe with the other two. At around 5 or 6, Lishan came over to meet us. Bought a top from marina and another 2 more from Bugis. Am a super broke girl now.

Wednesday, 5th.
Met Edwin for lunch. Went to Funan to visit my colleagues since it was still early. Met Peishan and Lishan and Jac for dinner at Simpang. Slacked at Simei, drank Hooch and Breezer, chit-chat and all, and went home.

Thursday, 6th.
Went out with Amos. We had porridge buffet. He bought a Lacoste bag and a topman polo. Catched Charlie Wilson's war, and yes I've to agree that.. that's the best show ever!

Friday, 7th.
Went out with Mummy and Sis. Had ThaiExpress for our dinner, my treat for them finally.

Sat, 8th.
Met Chow and Gayle. Acc them buy their shoes for their Danceworks competition. Went to Ikea and then to plaza sing to get their black cloth for the props.

Sun, 9th.
Went to Church with Kwan and Amos.

Monday, Tuesday. 10th and 11th March.
Went to meet Amos at Cityhall at 12. Shopped for Kwan's present for like almost the whole day. Ate at Imperial Palace for lunch. Walked around Esplanade Mosaic area, was super lucky to hear an amazing lady sing, her band was totally awesome and Amos fell in love with that lady's beautiful voice and that super cool drummer. Headed to Amos' place to decorate the cake with Kwan's name since his mum was able to provide the cream and the colouring. Then, took 293 back to my place, both of us had porridge for dinner. Then, Andrew came over as well, with some donuts and cookies.. My dad came home with hokkien mee as well.. like there were super loads of food at my place like suddenly. And yes, cabbed to Kwan's place at nearly 12 to surprise her as it was her birthday. She look super shocked! Had Mac for our supper at Kwan's house, even though we're alr super full after having so much tempting food in our stomach earlier on at my place. There were 3 Macspicy burgers, 6 large fries...felt super retarded man, had so many meals in a day.. Played monopoly after our supper, Kwan was like the richest. Ok nevermind, catched Meet The Spartans on Amos' PSP after the game. I was like damn damn tired. Cabbed with the two As and reached home after 630am the next morning. But yes, I really had fun with the usual 3. Anyway, HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY KWAN! :)

Slept till after 1pm, Vonne called to wake me up. Acc her to go for her interview. Waited for the bus for more than 2 hours.

Wednesday, 12th March.
Finally get to rest at home. Kwan came over to steal my clothes.

Thursday, 13th March.
Headed to bugis. Ate Seoul Garden for breakfast and lunch. Then, off to school to see the dance.

2008-02-26T00:25:00.000-08:00

Well, here to update. Had dance practice earlier on, very very tired and exhausted. Danceworks competition is approaching and just a few more days to the end of my misery. I'm so proud of myself. I've actually survived those painful days with sucky colleagues and very irritating customers. My contract is finally ending!

Am currently a super broke person, seriously waiting for my next pay. Train fares are a total killer, a big bomb to my pocket. Pay please faster come I really need to shop :(

And yes, life still suck.

2008-02-04T11:57:00.000-08:00

CNY is approaching and less than a month to my freedom! :) omg time really flies man.

2008-01-05T07:47:00.000-08:00

hi. working life suck so badly. and 2 more mths to my freedom.

2007-12-03T20:35:00.000-08:00

Oh my life is even more screwed now. I'm gonna start working from now till next yr March. It's full time, only one day off per week. :( :( :(

2007-12-02T23:36:00.000-08:00

Alright shall update. I'm sick and tired of my computer, tv and whatever, very very no life. I feel like shit and I dont know why, I mean mostly I feel that way when I'm at home, just a lil bit of emptiness i guess. maybe because i miss dance, i miss sch and i miss my friends. Life is so shitty now, with nothing worth the excitement, just plain emptiness. Ah wonder how shitty it can even get.

Last sat to mon, 24th to 26th, went to feiyan's chalet. Played mahjong. Drank diluted vodka. Played games. Had a great time there. Sort of miss the tiles, even though I still dont really know how to play.

27th, tuesday. Went out with Kwan to town to get lost.

28th, Wed. Kwan forced me to go out and look for a job together. Spent my mum's cash on a top and a bottom.

29th, Thurs. Went out to meet Kwan. Headed to Vivo to meet Andrew for lunch at Ljs. Then, went off to Bugis with Kwan. Walked over to simlim to visit Amos. Slacked and homed.

30th, Fri. Went out to catch a movie with Azmeel at Tm. Watch the tatooist. Yes, i still wanna get a tattoo even though the show freak me out. Went off to meet my mum. Had dinner at sakae with her. Bought a bag and a top for more than 80 bucks. I'm currently jobless and in debt. I owe my mum.. like let's say.. more than 300?

1st Dec, Sat. Rot at home, totally no life. Chatted on the phone till around 4am the next day.

2nd Dec, Sun. Promise Kwan to acc her to church but I could not wake up! so sorry! Met Kwan at Bugis. Due to my retarded hp, she could not reach me, SORRY, next yr will change alr. Headed to town again. Window shoppingggg, broke. Kwan bought many stuff and I'm pissed.

Yup that's my boring holidays, it really suck i swear. Bye!

2007-11-24T01:48:00.000-08:00

Grad night was awesome! really really enjoyed myself there. I'm glad that I'm not anti-social as I hate being such an unfriendly loser. But yes, that night was so memorable!

HK Trip was fine, but still, there are sad moments. The part when the socialising takes place, I was totally more like an outcast, trying to be friendly. The people there were great, very friendly :) but yea, i felt really terrible there. The rest of the trip was fine i guess. Overall, quite fun.

2007-10-18T22:20:00.000-07:00

I really need to get some things off my chest.

I've been trying really hard not to think about it. I'm very affected by that expression on your face, so affected that it breaks my heart. Life is so screwed up now and I dont know why. I feel as if I'm gonna break down soon... Feeling terrible, stress, upset, worried and nothing else. I dont know what to do now, I really dont... argh im bursting soon........

2007-10-15T23:28:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ANDREWPETERLOHJIANWEI. HOPE YOU HAD FUN WITH US TODAY.

2007-10-01T22:35:00.000-07:00

Feeling very stress. Regretted. Dont know what I was doing the first few months of 2007, not even studying. Now I'm struggling, not sure if I could finish my revision on time. I'm so afraid, I don't wanna disappoint my parents and my teachers. :( sigh. Guess it's too late. I will still try my best, hopefully my last min efforts will pay off. Good luck to me.

2007-09-18T18:52:00.000-07:00

piang.. I think I'm damn retarded. I studied phy since morning 8 till 6 in the afternoon and guess what? I ONLY TOUCHED ON 1 CHAPT! SHITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT. AND, Oh yes, I'm currenly pissed off with my retarded pimples. HOPEFULLY, tml it 'll be slightly smaller. OK GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE FOR TML'S PAPER. bye

2007-09-16T22:53:00.000-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDE :)

2007-09-15T08:34:00.000-07:00

Didnt went to school for my MT papers. I woke up at 545am yesterday, changed into my uniform, ate my breakfast, packed my bag and decided not to go. Practice math at home yesterday. Didn't really study much. Went out to teach Amos math and study together. Thanks Andrew.

Chow's coming my house at 9am to teach me math, how retarded to let someone younger than you teach you math. going out after that. :)

Oh yes, mum was totally against the idea of going for auds, so that really suck.

2007-09-08T12:16:00.000-07:00

On friday, went to school to pass Mrs Chen my Coursework Part A. Then, headed to Kwan's house. On the way there, the weather killed me totally. DKK did alot of retarded stuffs, I shall not elaborate further. Enjoyed myself and I love her Ah ma's cooking. DAMN NICE! :)

Yesterday, went to meet Iman to catch dance club's perf at Tanah Merah. Feel quite sad, can't perform till Os over. The energy of the dance is rather low...only the last song seems to be better off than the first few. Had prata at Simpang with Chow and Iman. We took loads of Helium balloons from that place and we............ :)
After having our meal, we let the balloons go... Iman cabbed off to meet his family for dinner. Chow and I took bus 31. Then, I went off to small mac to wait for Amos. Thanks Chow for acc me on the phone as Amos the monkey was late. Ok, headed to Tampines Mall area with him, walked around to wait for Andrew and to hunt for my Yam ice cream. Waited for Andrew at the bus stop and went over to Amos house. Andrew cook Hor fan for us and it taste great! Yup, that's all. Thank you dogs for acc me home again.

2007-09-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

Hi. On wed, went out with Amos and Andrew. Went shopping, slack and all. Had a great time with the two dogs:)

Went to school yesterday for dance prac and FNN Coursework. Sadly, I was the last to leave the school yesterday because I got tons of amendments to make for my Cousework Part A. I still havent finish it even now. Need to go school later to get it print out. Will be going DKK house as well. So damn tired and busy. Anyway, Thanks Mrs Chen :)

Im so affected. I really wanna go koreaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa sooooooooooooooooooon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-08-31T22:01:00.000-07:00

Performance today. I forgot some of the steps and my energy level was quite low for the last song. But anyway just wanna say that I'm very proud of my dancers. Even though the dance is not perfect at all, but I've seen a great improvement, unlike the rehearsals, all screwed up. You all did a great job and I'm so proud of the performance today. Thanks Kwan, Gayle and Rad for helping with the choreo. Thanks Adlin, Chow, Zu er, Mande, Jac for being part of the crew.

Message to my dancers: Sorry for being so nasty, naggy and strict during dance practices, thanks for tolerating all that and understanding that being a leader is not easy at all. And deep down, I really wanna thanks Kwan for helping me alot, giving me the support that I needed the most. I love my dancers! Great job today!

HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY TO MISS GINA, MISS HANG, MRS HO, MRS PINTO.

2007-08-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

I'M VERY DISTURBED, DISGUSTED AND AFFECTED TODAY. I THINK GOD HATES ME TOO MUCH. I'M TRYING HARD NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT, IM AM TRYING BUT WHATS THE POINT... IN THE END I HAD TO FACE THESE PROBLEMS AGAIN AND AGAIN AND NO ONE CAN HELP. IT GETS EVEN SWEETER WHEN UR FAMILY MEMBERS ARE BEING SO NICE WHEN YOU'RE ALR DEAD PISSED. FUCK LIFE MAN. TFYH^&i($#t&%#q@#$*()ufz$wa#$ASMCBUDIHj olyguhgbxyasJHJHASCNKSDNCKSDJNCKACKSA 489JHGBGIUIUU76 DTY U6 D JBVTHDFG IK,HRFDCYG , N

2007-08-24T06:42:00.000-07:00

Hi. I'm so sick and tired. Sick of being so pissed and tired of feeling disrespected. Yes, I'm trying very hard to get things done, trying hard to make everyone look good on stage, really trying so so hard. Oh well. I shall not get too affected and irritated.

Anyway, exams are over!

2007-08-23T07:19:00.000-07:00

I'M SO STRESS. I slept during math paper today. I'm damn discouraged by the questions because I really don't know how to do at all, really feel like giving up at times :( even phy, hopeless case man. As for tml's paper, I'm too tired to even look at my notes or to even think, I don't feel like going to school tml. sec 4 life really suck.

On the other hand, perf's just next week. NEXT WEEK WHEN OUR POSITIONS, STEPS AND EVERYTHING IS NOT COMPLETE. THERE ARE 9 PPL DANCING, BUT ALWAYS, WITHOUT FAIL, SOMEONE WILL BE ABSENT OR SOMETHING. IM SUPER STRESS AND HOPEFULLY I CAN EVEN FINISH THE POSITIONING WHICH I THINK NOT EVERYONE WILL TURN UP. PLEASE TURN UP DANCERS. :(

2007-08-11T14:30:00.000-07:00

Yesterday woke up at 7 to do my tuition homework. Dad drove me to Tm Mac for morning breakfast, along with my beloved mummy. Went shopping at Metro Sales, which is like the last day. We bought loads of stuffs and Mum had no choice but to take a cab home. I couldn't acc her as I need to go to Kwan's house to get her to teach me PoA. I waited till my mum gets into the cab and headed opposite to get Kwan and her brother a cup of bubble tea each. Ok so we started with Trading, profit and loss A/c and balance sheet, I managed to learn the format and all. Soon, we started slacking and discussing about our Teacher's Day dance. Oh and also, Kwan's parents bought crossaints, we had one each and it taste so heavenlyyyyy lol. Then Kwan managed to get the laptop under her control, so we watched many videossss, including our gone case video... HAHA had a great laugh with her. Sometimes.. I really miss the past :) not all , but almost everything...

Till dinner time at Kwan's house, I love her grandma's cooking ok! I was supposed to just had a bowl of soup, but the dishes on the dining table was just overly tempting and irresistable, so I ate quite alot. Haha after having my so called dinner, Kwan walked me to the bus stop to wait for bus. Thanks Kwan and I love you! Was actually planning to visit Chow pig, but she was alr out at bugis with her boyf. Took 17 home.

Hi silly show pig, I'm here for you so please don't think too much ok. Loves!

2007-07-31T20:24:00.000-07:00

Hi readers, I'm officially super pissed and affected now because of what Kwan had said earlier on. EVEN KWAN SAYS SO. SO WHAT AM I? WHAT AM I GOOD AT? WHAT AM I THE BEST AT? NOTHING ANYMORE. THE POSER IS PISSING OFF SO BADLY. I THINK I SHOULD BANG THE WALL NOW SINCE I'VE GOT NOTHING TO VENT MY ANGER AT. I NEED TO SHOUT!

LIFE IS MAKING ME SO SICK AND SO TIRED.

2007-07-22T19:20:00.000-07:00

Oh I didn't update for quite sometime. Super busy these days. 2 days ago, went to Tampines JC to watch some dance performance. Met doggy Rad at the bus stop and I ran my way to the bus stop because she confidently told me that she's like gonna reach there early. As I'm a Miss nicey, I rushed there so as not to have her to wait for me for too long, how nice can I get? But guess what! She's late! The other 3 pigs (Gayle, Chow, Jac) were damn late as well, we waited for them for merely 20 mins and we're so late for the show. When they came, we quickly went inside the auditorium and made a scene unintentionally. Argh I was so embarassed.

We bought 5 tickets for like 35 bucks and the whole outcome was really disappointing, we wasted our money and I feel so cheated. We didn't stay for that dance floor thing because we're dying to get out of the place. Headed to Mr prata to slack and had pratas and some drinks. Enjoyed myself totally even though the JC thing was so so so wrong. Reached home at around 11.

Sometimes, I really don't understand, I really don't. I'm so disappointed in you with the way you act and behave and so wanna try to show me that you're making an effort to get things right but yet it's still so wrong! Let me tell you, you're walking the wrong path, so wrong that you have yet to even realise. You need a wake up call!

2007-07-13T20:44:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling very stress lately. I mean everyone around seems to be mugging hard, really hard that it scares the hell out of me. With just a blink of an eye, 6 full months passed off just like that. I just realised that I'm left with not more than 4 months to study, blame me for bring such a slacker, for slacking for 6 bloody months. WHAT AM I DOING. Another thing, coursework is killing me. I didn't have enough sleep these days. I slept at 5.35am today which means that I merely slept for just an hour. I'm so exhausted with everything, studies, stress, pimpless... And yes, my pimples are pissing me off, what's with that sudden outburst. I'm feeling very tired, very sick and I just don't want to talk. Everyone's good at something, but I'm neither here nor there. I'm feeling very fed up and frustrated and I feel as if my life is slowly going over to that negative side. How pathetic.

2007-07-08T11:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Chow wanted to slack at my place but alight off the wrong stop because I waited for her at the opposite stop and she didn't see me at all, lol retarded us. The smart brain managed to walk the correct way and coincidently, we met. So together, to my house. She saw alot of amazing things at my place which is so interesting and yes, that includes Hangkyung. Headed to Tampines Inter together, had bread for our lunch. Waited for Rad, Jac and Gayle. Took bus 69 to Temasek Poly, went there to support Andreas dance and to see other groups dance's competition. Anyway, Andreas dance really well! :) After the whole perfotmance, went to Mac to have our dinner. Seriously, we laughed like nobody's business and all of us looked like some drunkards man. I CAN'T WAIT FOR OUR DANCE CHALET AND TRIP. I WANNA GO KOREA! MORE AND MORE DANCE GATHERINGS PLS!

Cheer up jac! We're here!

2007-07-03T22:26:00.000-07:00

Oh last Saturday was the biggest joke of the year. We went for a competition at Scape park organised by the National Environment Awareness(NEA). Firstly, I really need to emphasize that our dance is the best. The story-line is so clear and obvious, our steps are rather polished and our props are nicely done. Seriously, THE OTHER FOUR GROUPS CAN'T DANCE. NONE OF THEM IS EVEN UP TO STANDARD, AND I MEAN ALL. BECAUSE I KNOW I'M BETTER, THAT'S WHY I'M FEELING PISSED BECAUSE WE LOST THE COMPETITION BECAUSE OF ONE OF THE ORGANISER. That was so unfair. I mean like from the very beginning, the organisers there dislike us because we looked like some rebel or maybe we acted like one, and those other groups hated us because we're too good, too good that they're so jealous and so wanting to get rid of us. BUT TOO BAD EVEN IF THEY WON, THEY'RE NOTHING, THEY CAN'T DANCE, TOTALLY CAN'T. WE ARE BETTER OFF THAN THEM AND WE'RE GONNA BE EVEN BETTER THE NEXT TIME. This is a sing and dance competition yet they're judging based on our attitude, if that's the case, PLEASE DO NOT BEGGED US TO JOIN NEXT TIME PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. I SERIOUSLY DONT KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH HUMAN BEINGS THESE DAYS. Taking part in this competition is a waste of time, effort and money.

Last sunday, went to meet Iman at night, he seems to be rather abnormal. Ok cheer up di if you're seeing this. loves.
Followed by monday, went out to celebrate youth day with Rad, Chow, Gayle and Jac. Chow left with her bf before we even started shopping and that's irritating. So shopped around with the other 3 retards. Headed to Marina after we're so bored of shopping around town, slacked at the theatre area. Ate Nachos, Popcorns. Laughed like some crazy people, and I did enjoy myself. Love my girls.

2007-06-28T00:35:00.000-07:00

Just had a celebration with Chow yesterday, it's our one year anniversary for our sistership. Went over to Chow's place after 5. Waited for her to get her things done. Headed to Suntec together to have ramen for our dinner, the xiao long bao was like super yummy. I enjoyed yesterday, I really did. I was totally looking forward to it yet time past so fast alright.

Anyway, I really like the top that Chow got for me, exactly the one that I was craving for. It was so sweet of her. And yes, the big card from her was really meaningful, I was really touched. Thanks Chow pig!

Chow: Hope you like the Paul Frank stuffs I got for you alright? Happy belated anniversary, I love the part when we sang that anniversary song nonsense in birthday song version, we blew the invisible candles and made 3 wishes. lol. loves.

Happy anniversary sister (:

Schoolwork is making me so tired and exhausted. I'm not coping well because stress is killing me. Ah just 4 more months to Os.. just how fast can it get?

It's really amazing to see how time flies, and amazing to see how memories stay. I'm really glad that I'm forgiven, it's time to really cherish everything now, for it's my last year in sec school. Not the school, but the teachers, friends, dance, instructor, mostly the memories.

2007-06-24T11:38:00.000-07:00

Didn't blog for quite sometime, here to update.

Tuesday. Went out to catch Shrek 3 with my sis. I lost the really super nice bracelet she bought for me for my bdae because some stupid dog grab it and got off the bus which seriously pissed me off badly. In other words, HE STOLE MY BRACELET. Alright, shall not talk about this, it makes me feel upset and sick. After watching Shrek at Cs, headed to Vivo for shopping! Bought 2 tops and my sis paid for it. Thanks sis. I love you! The most amazing thing is that my sis bought herself two tops, like finally. One from Roxy and another one from Cs. At least, I didn't feel like some retarded one spending so much and yet she's not buying anything at all. That was the first time I went out with my sis, just the two of us. It was fun and great even though I lost my precious bracelet. Sorry sis, I guess I was too careless.

Friday, went over to Chow's place and I really love her room! Walked to Tampines Control Station with her to meet Rad. Took train to Bedok platform as Jac the pig was late once again, standard. After Jac came, trained to Eunos to meet Gayle. The weather was super hot, walked for quite a long distance to reach the bus stop. Catched bus 15 to Marine Parade. Ate at Mac for our breakfast and some retarded loser keep staring at us like as if we're aliens. Gayle had her hair cut at the salon there. When done, went to Vivo to shop straight. Rad Bought a red cardigan and I bought a blue one only, gonna buy more colors if I ever had the money. Anyway, we went to get Anna Sui balloons, it was so nice and sweet and we looked like some childish freaks. My balloon flew away due to Jac's retardedness. Bought a sleeveless top from Forever 21 and Mng was having end-season sale, the place was super crowded and squeezy and I managed to get a top. Then to Marina square. Settled at Mac for some fries and drinks. Saw Yang, Fardly. Headed to Bugis to change my shorts. Jac bought that really nice cardigan for only 20 bucks and she finally got herself that black long pants. Slacked at the top floor of Parco, it was a great chit-chatting session. Rad went off first and next, Chow the pig. Really had tons of fun with the girls. Love them all.

Saturday. Kwan acc me today because I was really bored at home. Went to Tampines Mall. Kwan and I was really excited after being approached! Headed to Marina square to shop around. Settled at Mac, bought Vanilla Frappe and a packet of fries. Since a packet is not enough for Kwan and I, I went to get 2 more packets of fries and eventually we could not finish it. Saw Iman, Yang, Fardly and Sufi. They went to Mac as well and helped to eat the fries. Went home around 6 plus. So disappointed in my cooking, no taste at all! rahh pissed. anyway, THANKS KWAN.

Sch's starting just tmr and I'm still in that holiday mood, so not looking forward to it.

Some pictures we took on friday..

lol retarded rad.

Hi jac! :D

Hi Chow! :D

Rad, Me, Chow!

2007-06-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

Woke up super early like the past few days, was up at 605 am. Met the dancers and Chow at Tampines Control Station. Headed to bedok platform to meet Jac and Shah, and together, off to Clementi. Took a bus to Nanhua Sec Sch for the environmental event. Seriously, I was so disappointed, I think it was purely pathetic because NO TANGLINS, NO JUYING. All I see was some American Rapper and MJ wannabe(s) trying so hard to look 'COOL' and be 'COOL' with their cannot make it slang, with their cannot make it MJ moves and their flirtatiousness. Both of them seriously CANNOT DANCE, THAT'S THE WORST MJ DANCE EVER and they did laughed at us when we're like so much better than them. On the other hand, River girls are despos? They're trying really hard to get into good terms with the organisers so that they may stand a much more higher chance. I cannot believe that they even laughed for the most not funny crap and try their best to flirt with that two disgusting rappers. DISGUSTING OK. The lao kok kok is VERY IRRITATING. Firstly, he shoot us from head to toe just because we're really relunctant to listen to his speech and his so called dance lesson. I think he was some kind of line dancer and I so think that he cannot dance at all. He tried showing off to us that he was the pro when all he was doing was some line dancing shitttttttttttttttt and that he boasted to us about his trips to several countries for workshop and a visit to his studio for an hour will cost others more than a thousand. LIKE HELLO? EVEN IF U WENT TO WORKSHOPS, DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU'RE A GREAT DANCER. I BET THAT NO ONE WOULD EVER WANNA GO TO UR LAO KOK KOK STUDIO MAN LOSER. HE HATES US BUT LOVE THOSE WHO TRIED SO HARD TO GET ALONG WITH HIM. EW THAT'S WHAT I CALL SORE LOSERS.

Ew shan't mention about the lao kok kok anymore. Due to the over pissness, everyone left before 1 and went shopping! Went with Rad, Gayle, Chow and Jac. Off to Raffles to Gayle's dad shop and headed to Bugis. Ate our lunch at Mos Burger. Shopped around Bugis Street, Gayle and Chow and I bought the same Spongebob Squarepants wear. Gayle secretly bought a pair of shorts for me, thanks pig! Slacked at the top floor of Parco GV, did many RETARDED AND LAME STUFFS. It was so fun! :) love my girls :D

2007-06-15T23:01:00.000-07:00

I realised I didn't blog for like days so here I am to update. Had study camp last week from Mon to Fri, it was a torture for me. I was so looking forward to dance camp, times flies and now it's over, I enjoyed it, excluding the eerie part, it freaks me out totally, even now. On the first day of camp, Kwan and I came super late. I bought my meh along to accompany me to sleep at night and everyone thought that I was retarded to bring such a big one. Anyway, I love the water bomb part, it was one of the most exciting one. And also, the hand-over ceremony was really touching, tears, smiles, laughters filled the room, I know I love my dance club and leaving it all is the hardest thing. Yes, shall just accept the fact that I'm gonna step down after my last competition with my loved ones. Second day, played games, had diff types of competitions and everything was great till......... oh well.
Still, among all, mehmeh dance is the best of all. Dance camp ended on Sunday. Slacked with Kwan, Jac, Chow, Zu er, Ian, Rad and cabbed home with Kwan and Chow.

Following Monday:
Went to school early with Chow to catch up with the dance steps. Had dance practice at 9am. Had a break in between and proceeded with the props. Went to Koba, talked about some things that happened during camp which is so freaky and it eventually makes me so scared to head home. Ian humored me with his retardness and he took bus 9 with me. Thanks dog! Also, Thanks Chow for talking to me on the phone while I was in the lift.

Tues:
Met Chow at Tampines, I wasted my precious money on cab again and I'm really pissed. Alright, met some of the dancers at Tampines Control Station, Rad was late for like 10 min. Next, met Ian, Gina and Gayle in the train. Headed to Vivo city to hunt for our costumes. We managed to find a nice tank, bought 11 of it. I bought a yellow, while Chow bought a hot pink tank. Went to Lavender after getting the white tank with the rest, bought Army pants. Seriously, the uncle's attitude suck. Curse his business, with this kinda stooooopid attitude, with such sarcastic remarks, hoping for a bye to his tiny winy shop. After buying 9 army pants from that sore loser, went to Orchard. Decided to get that green top, most of us headed back to Vivo again to get 11 green ones. Quite satisfied with the costume :)

Wednesday:
Went to school for dance again. Took bus 28 and met Chow at the bus stop near her house, walked to school and Mande came along as well. Had breakfast together with Jac, Chow, Gayle and Mande, a prata each. Dance started at 9am. Break in between, slacked in the music room. At around 2, went off alone to meet Emi to get the army pants for Qianhao. Thanks Emi! Headed back to Simei popular to get some materials for the props, the weather was a killer. After doing the needed-to-be-done stuffs, slacked at Ljs together with Jac, Chow and Gayle. AND I DIDN'T EAT MOST OF THE FRIES OK STUPID ZHU TOU JAC. Oh, I saw Mum and Sis as well. Went home with them and saw Liangqin and her Mum.

Thursday:
Supposed to study POA at mian bao's house but in the end I postponed it. I was super tired and was at the verge of losing my voice. Since I've got no voice to quarrel with bready, I changed my mind. Even though I know she miss me but she kept denying AND I DONT KNOW WHY. Spent some time doing some revision and use the com all the way after an hour of hardwork. I'm very proud of myself because I found the movie that I watched few years ago while trying to search for some nice anime to watch. The last time I watched this movie was like during my Pri school days and I think my brother lent it from his friend or something, can't really remember though. The movie was a great one, titled 'Battle Royale'. Gonna catch part II after I finish watching part I. It's amazing to see how evil people could get, how ruthless they can be and how selfish they are. Battle Royale is a worth watching movie, I think y'all shouldn't miss it. I gave that movie 5 stars!

Alright, as for today, went to school for dance again. Just like Wednesday, walked to Simei Bakery shop with Mande and Chow to meet the rest. THAT ZHU TOU JAC TOLD US NOT TO BE LATE YET SHE'S THE ONE WHOSE LATE!!!!! Ate prata each again and headed to school for dance practice at 9am. Ate Roti John for my lunch during break time, Rad and the rest ate something else. Headed back to school to do our props again. After that, slacked at Ljs again. I'm so excited for tml, really interested to know if those Tanglins are joining the competition or not. Well, we shall see tmr. Bye :)

2007-06-03T18:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, went to meet Jac at bedok at 1230. Took train to City Hall and walked over to Marina square. Walked around till Mande and Gayle called. Headed to Mac to meet them, had shaker fries. Soon, Mande went off first, standardised. Shopped around for Jac's dress for a wedding dinner and she finally bought herself a nice and sweet white top from Topshop. And, I'm so broke now, I spent 95 bucks on a Stussy checkered jacket. Then we settled at Gayle's kopitiam again, Jac ordered alot for just 3 of us and we can't finish the whole thing. Then, Gayle and Jac bought themselves 2 pairs of shorts each. After that, went to Mac again for drinks and cheesecake. As we're not in the shopping mood, we went home rather early.

As for today, woke up as early like the past few days. Met Kwan and Rocker doggy hog at 201 and both of them were late! Imagine standing under the hot sun with a long sleeve top and a jacket, the heat was merely unbearable. After a long wait, took bus 12 and met doggy loh there. Went to their church. Then, took bus 10 to Tampines Inter after the whole service ended. Kwan went for her guitar lesson and the two APs went to play Daytona. After a round of game, Amos went off after buying food. So, loh and I walked around till Kwan's guitar lesson ended. Walked Kwan home and took bus 28. That's for today.

2007-06-01T16:21:00.000-07:00

Let me start on the events on Wednesday. Went to school for dance practice at 9 in the morning. I'll be going for dance till 30 of june as I've took part in some environmental dance competition, Jac as well. How exciting! Alright, after practice, headed to Marina square with Chow, Gayle and Jac. Shopped around and ate shaker fries at Mac. Rushed home and get changed, met Andrew and Amos. Headed to Cathay for a movie, but the time slot for Shrek 3 was too late, ended up cabbing over to bugis instead. Ate at TCC, the food there was expensive ok. And next, headed to Changi Airport for a short while, took train back to Tampines. Went to meet my family, catched Pirates of the Carribean II, while Amos and Andrew went off to Arcade if I'm not wrong. Lastly, after the movie, ate prata for supper.

On thursday, studied at home for an hour or so, great achievement. Met the dogs again at Control Station. Headed to Changi Airport to buy 'Tangtang' and some drinks. Took bus 36 to Somerset and saw a crazy man on the bus. Went to Tangs to spend the 30 dollars voucher. We bought two bottles each and a Spongebob Squarepants pen. lol. Headed to Shaw to catch Shrek 3. Catched 36 back and saw the same crazy guy. Stopped at Parkway, took cab over to Amos blk area. Took bus 293 back with doggy loh. Overall, had a great time.

As for today, had dance at 9am. Took a cab to school as I thought I would be late. I love the new dance steps! :) Looking forward to the competition. Slacked with Ian and Jac after that. Soon enough, poh left and Feiyan came. Homed at 3 plus. And yes, my next week schedule would be so packed and that sucks! Well, that's for all.

2007-05-29T23:19:00.000-07:00

Had a bad day today. Firstly, in the morning, went to school with my parents to get my report book. The appointment was at 10 am, Mr Ho was totally late for like merely 35 mins and without a 'Sorry' when he came. I passed only chinese. Actually I passed my Combined Humanities, but in overall for term 1 & 2, I failed. The only thing that Mr Ho did was by making me feel terrible and useless. He told my Mum that my results were even worse than term 1 and he claimed that MY MATH NEVER IMPROVE, NOT AT ALL. I was like damn pissed off because I really did see an improvement in my Math so I told him I did improve so he kept quiet. Like hello?! From 18 improve to 36, YOU CALL THAT NO IMPROVEMENT? JUST WHY CAN'T YOU STOP DISCOURAGING PEOPLE FOR ONCE? YOU CALL YOURSELF A TEACHER FOR GOODNESS SAKE? Feel really terrible on the way to 139 market for breakfast, but I managed to calm my emotions down. After having our meal, headed to Tampines Mall with Mum. My problem arised again and affected me really badly this time round, I was feeling so bad. That's really not the answer I wanted to hear, I was really disappointed. Fall even badly now, I'm really lost and I don't know what to do. WHY IS IT ALWAYS ME?!

And thirdly, a weird sec 1 girl from my school approached me. Seriously, I've got no idea what is she trying to tell me, or what is she trying to do? I DONT KNOW WHAT IS SHE THINKING MAN. ASKED ME SUCH STUPID QNS, IT'S LIKE AS IF I EVEN KNOW HER? I ended up talking nonsensical crap as a reply and guess what she asked me again?

Her: er, wo men ming tian shi bu shi you oral?
Me: bu shi jin tian meh. wo bu zhi dao.
Her: shi ming tian ma bu shi meh?
Her: bu ran shi ji shi?
Me: wo na li dong. wo bu shi sec one lor, ni wen wo zhuo shen mo sia
Her: then ni shi modern dance de shi ma
Me: ah.. dui

I think she's trying too hard. I dont know if she's making up stupiddddd stories or what. Firstly, she asked for my opinion about her friend not picking up her call and whether I think she was avoiding her. Secondly, she asked me when's her oral. AND NOW WHAT? CCA? Like i really don't know if she's trying to be funny or whatsoever but talking to her makes my blood boil ok! I dont know what's wrong with her man, I swear I'm not even gonna talk to her anymore. It makes your day even more frustrating. What weird person. If I knew she's gonna crap so much, I wouldn't even reply her in the first place, ended up getting myself even more pissed for the MOST STUPID REASON.

At night, met Jacklyn at my house area. Had a good chat with her and all. At around 10 plus, Jessica came to meet her and both of them headed to 201. Well, reached home at 10 plus. That's for today.

2007-05-29T01:25:00.000-07:00

O level chinese paper today. I'm so gonna do badly, my letter writing was too short and in the first place I don't even know that it is necessary to fill up a 1 whole and a 1/2 page. Tsk. Met Kwan, Andrew, Amos, Wendy at Tampines Mrt Control Station, headed to Vivo City. Shopped at Topshop, Zara, Forever 21. Saw a top which I really like, it's so expensive, it cost 66 bucks. I'm saving money to buy it, I hope the top would be mine soon. Saw Gayle at Zara, I miss her! Ate at Ljs, cabbed over to Orchard Far East Plaza with Amos and Andrew, while Kwan and Wendy went home. Amos and Andrew bought themselves a cardigan each, I didn't buy any stuff at all. Cabbed over to Heeren again due to Amos' retardness. We met 2 crazy cab drivers in one day, one being so kiasu, another one complaining about us not mentioning about the $2 peak charge, how exaggerating and ridiculous taxi drivers are these days. Saw Emi, Cat and friends as well :D Took bus 36 from Orchard to Changi Airport. Amos bought 'Tangtang' and Starbucks Coffee, Andrew too. Waited for bus 34, it was getting rather late. Thanks Amos and Andrew for acc me home as I saw two weird unknowns who was about to take the same lift as me under my blk, and worst of all, we stayed at the same level and I've never seen them before, not at all. Thanks dogs. Had a great day today, enjoyed myself totally. Took quite a number of pictures, will upload if I'm not lazy to do so.

2007-05-25T21:21:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired.

Anyway, happy happy birthday sister! :) iloveyou. Hope you enjoy the meal and love all your pressies!

Thanks Chow, for always being the one all along. loves.

2007-05-24T22:04:00.000-07:00

Didn't went for MT Intensive Program, Jac, Jess and Feiyan as well. Went over to Feiyan's house to use her com's wavepad program. Watched DOA and played Audition. Feiyan lent me some of her DVD(s), Thanks! Left her place after 715pm, cabbed to Jac's blk area. She waited for the bus with me. Thanks zhu tou and cheer up!

I miss Chow :(

2007-05-22T20:00:00.000-07:00

I'm so looking forward to Friday. Friday please faster come.

I've got no idea why I'm getting pissed and irritated so easily recently, I was in my worst mood of all. I realised that people around did armed themselves with an iron mask, they're all fake and unsincere, those that would be a killer in society in the future I must say.

I regret changing over to my current class, I should stay in E3 in the first place. I should've walked my own path, maybe this way, I could concentrate better and not having a hard time convincing myself that I'm gonna be out of this damn skul soon so I shall just bear with it a lil more. It was stupid. Having your days being so unpleasant, having to see all the masked faces, having to hear all those noises, it's like living hell. I'm glad that I saw and discovered what's hidden behind those masks, it makes me learn more about life, how evil people could be.

2007-05-21T20:00:00.000-07:00

Here are some of the pictures we took yesterday.

Me and chow pig

She escaped from the zoo

Fitting room

I love her :)

retarded

last but not least.....

Anyway, I miss dance. It's like I miss all the routines, my dearest sweets and shah. I really miss dance club, it makes me feel rather terrible, at the verge of breaking down. I hate Os, I've to give up something I really liked and that suck. Mother tongue intensive program, 4 more days to go.

I miss Chow, Gayle and Mande!

2007-05-20T21:45:00.000-07:00

Met Chow zhu at Tampines Mall, we did our normal procedures, that pig won because she was the first to reach the destination. Firstly, bought my blue top at Tampines. I was rather shagged when the 77th street sleeveless tank I was planning to buy was sold off, what damn luck. Headed to Bugis street to get some tops, the weather was a killer. Chow got herself a super sweet tube top :) Shopped for like an hour or so and off to City Hall. Settled down at Bread & Toast for Raspberry toast and Milo Dinosaur. Walked around Raffles and Suntec city, nothing much. Headed back to Bugis again and to Century square. Had a great day. Enjoyed myself totally :D I miss pig!

2007-05-19T12:15:00.000-07:00

Got really upset yesterday. Goodbye 55 bucks roxy top, dont ask me why. Had quite a bad day, was feeling very down. Went out to catch Spiderman 3 at Marina square. Harry was damn cute!

Anyway, yes I'm affected, damn. Please stop making me disappointed in you girl, you've hurt me enough.

If only..
Thanks Chowjb, thanks for being there :) loves.

2007-05-16T11:05:00.000-07:00

Shall post about yesterday.

Cancelled the outing with the pigs :( was at home till late afternoon. Accompanied Mummy for dinner and met Chow jb around 7 plus. I was in my most casual and she was in her nice red tube top, and I seriously looked quite retarded by just standing beside her. Had prata meal together, ordered 2 cheese prata and 2 holick C. Then, headed for eye-check-up. Walked to the bus stop with pig and waited for bus 28 with her. I totally enjoyed myself even though everything ended so quickly. I love Chow pig! :D

2007-05-14T22:34:00.000-07:00

Oh hello. I'm so pissed off. It's like what the hell? I feel like some idiot now. DONT MAKE IT LIKE I EVEN ASKED YOU TO DANCE..LIKE HELLO???!!!!!

I'm so not in the mood.

2007-05-13T21:10:00.000-07:00

Hello people. Happy Mother's Day!
Firstly, let me blog about yesterday.

Met Chow jb at Tampines Inter at 330pm. Walked around Tampines mall and Cs, she bought herself a red tube top. How I wished I could get 1 for myself, I'm really broke now. Boo, hope I could get my Roxy top as soon as possible. Bought bubble, Chow bought banana ice blend, and for me, coffee. lol the banana ice blend taste weird. Settle down at Tampines mall basement's staircase and Chow jb is damn retarded. She laughed like some psychotic pig man, being plainly idiotic. What can I say? lol. Oh well, really had a great time with her. And, thanks ah mei for chatting and waiting the bus with me! Enjoyed myself and I so love her! :D muack.

This is the path I choose to walk and I'm glad that I made a choice on my own.

2007-05-12T21:07:00.000-07:00

I've changed my mind about the password thing, so it's like I think I'm so fickle-minded. alright. I love talking to chow la. She really brightened up my day! love you si zhu :D

2007-05-12T14:05:00.000-07:00

Oh finally I've a tagboard and yes, no one shall invade my privacy and spam me as how they like. Credits to Miss chow jb for password, tagboard. Thanks!

Yesterday.
Headed home straight after school. Went out with mummy, catched 200 pounds beauty with her, that was like my second time watching the show. Mum bought 2 pairs of FBT pants for me and sis and 2 pairs of shoes for herself. Went to meet my sister at around 5.50, celebrated mother's day in advance. Had ramen for dinner. Yummy! Overall, I had a great time and I swear I'm gonna get myself that white top even thought it's gonna cost me 55 bucks. :( hope i can get the money asap! wish me luck before it's gone.

Had a great chat with my pig, Chowjb :D just simply love her cuteness la. misses!

2007-05-10T15:01:00.000-07:00

Math paper 2 killed me totally and phy is erm, retarded. :(

cheer up CHOW J.B :) i love you kay.

2007-05-04T23:01:00.000-07:00

School was fine, boring as usual. Went to get Gina to help me with E-math after school, Yvonne and Ian tagged along as well. Thanks Gina! She helped alot, totally appreciate her patience towards me :) I practiced Math for like 5 hours and I feel so contented. It was so abnormal of me, I totally admit. Time's passing fast, I don't have time to slack anymore :( I miss Gayle, Mande and Chow, and I'm so gonna miss dancing.

Alright, I was damn pissed during recess today, I seriously don't know what the heck she's trying to do and that's irritating.

2007-05-03T21:44:00.000-07:00

Was really affected by many things recently, I was almost killed mentally. I really wanna thanks my sister for letting me know so much about the book she read at times bookshop, it was amazing, and I'm so proud of myself. If you think that you're sad, you'll be sad, because you're thinking, and your brains are just working with you. If you would stop those silly bullshit orbiting around the brains, I'm so sure that you can move on without hesitation. I tried that and I'm feeling rather positive now :) Anyway, thanks Chow.

English paper 1 and 2 was did badly because I really don't know what to write, and that it was so stressful to do your scripts in the hall, you tend to focus on something else instead of the damn papers! Omg that's so bad because I really can't concentrate, I think I'm so dead this time. I'll fail English for sure! Alright, as for today, chinese was did badly as well. The reason was that I don't know what to write again and that suck. On the other hand, my chinese dictionary didn't help much at all, what a noob i was. We had chinese paper 1, 2 and even 3 when I don't even know at all, I think I'm seriously a loser because I really don't know! Anyway, sorry Chow for making you wait for so long.

Yes, we went to the library to study, and we did because I managed to do 3 questions for math ten year series and that's a big achievement! It was such a relieve that we didn't totally slack all the way, at least we did something, like erm... just 3 questions? I'm definitely so proud of myself! And, this retarded staff from the regional lib was such a bitch, she kinda chased us way because we were doing our work on a bench. It's like everyone was doing that and we were the only ones who got it. What the hell. I'm so sure that that girl behind us did all the complainings. And hey! We're so damn quiet and we're like doing our revision and she's plainly trying to be funny here. So, we went off. Headed to yakun for some kaya toast and tea. Had a great chat with her :)

Went to Tampines mall, toys'r'us. I really miss being a staff there :( Then, Iman came and passed Chow something. Walked her home with Iman and took bus 17 and homed. Had a great day. Thanks Chow. I love you :)

2007-04-28T09:34:00.000-07:00

I feel fcuking miserable.

2007-04-26T12:37:00.000-07:00

Back for updates.

On tuesday, had some sort of misunderstanding and all with Mrs Ho. I sort of raised my voice at her, I felt so bad and guilty. She's a great teacher, and I really hated myself for being so rude. Sorry Mrs Ho :(

Wednesday, yesterday, the modern dancers had Central Judging at UCC. The make-up looked rather retarded and horrendous but on stage, it's a different thing. For those who don't have any knowledge in dance or stage, should seriously get lost because they are just acting like dogs, bark without the most sensible reason. Alright, anyway, good job girls! Now we're done with SYF, it's time to step down :( omg damn sad man, my more than 3 years journey in dance club, I learnt so much. Gonna miss my girls and ian! :(

After SYF, went home and changed. Cabbed to tampines to meet Chow J.B, she was with her darling, which makes me the sparkling light bulb. Met jac in the train and went to marina square. Had a drink and kaya toast at Coffee and Toast. Headed to Tenah Merah to meet our dancers and instructor. Had our dinner at swensens. Thanks shah for the treat! Took group photos and all. Took train back to tampines, settled at open plaza. Enjoyed myself! :)

For now, I will focus on my studies :) Hi texbooks, bye dance.

2007-04-23T20:14:00.000-07:00

Thanks guanwei kor for sending me to school and sending me back home after dance :) much appreciated.

ok here goes. School today suck so badly, had a really bad day. Got pissed off in the morning and am totally affected. Feel as though no one cares about how I feel because I looked so strong, and feelingless. Yes, I'm damn disappointed, I'm shutting myself off, I'm gonna try and ignore.

Wth, i told you times and times. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE. PLEASE GET THIS CLEAR. I'M FCUKING OUT OF YOUR LIFE.

Moodless, felt like escaping. I don't wanna be Melle anymore. :(

2007-04-22T18:25:00.000-07:00

How I wish I can transfer out of school, to somewhere new. I thought I could have at least some peace on my own, yet an initiative is made to get me pissed. From the situation, I prefer having a non-stress and a so not heavy loaded life, makes me a happier person. But somehow even now, it never fails to kill and make me even more sick and tired, the urge to escape totally. I wanna be happy, I hate life when it's too miserable. Let's face it. Facts meant everything.

I need a friend to make me smile, respect me and be sincere and serious about it. That's all I want, I'm sure I'm not asking for too much. It takes two hands to clap, but somehow, one other side will never make an effort to do so. People changed, even me, I don't deny.

But no matter what now, I cherished my friends and family the most, nothing else comes close.

2007-04-22T11:25:00.000-07:00

Let me blog about yesterday. Had dance practice early in the morning till 1230. Rushed home and changed, met jess ah mei at tampines inter small mac. I reached there exactly at 230, so I don't owe her any free prata treats, but still I'm like one step later than her. Shall treat her a wonderful prata meal after exams. Headed to far east, then to marina square. Was supposed to study at library with her, but we didn't, like expectedly. Next time kay pig?

At around 645, went to bedok to meet jac. jess ser overslept, so we waited for her at whitesands and i bought my shoes finally as my previous heels belongs to mummy and it's like rotting. Took a bus to yumei's auntie house. Happy belated! :)

2007-04-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

Went for heats day with jac, jess, feiyan. And, wanna thanks jiaseeka ah mei for that cute lil badge, really appreciate it! I so totally love you :) I'm still not really sure whether I should give it a try on the actual sport's day because the most pro-ed runner named 'Peijing' is so gonna run, which eventually will make me the last. It really suck to feel so awkward being the last person to reach the destination, I so think that i shouldn't even try, play safe you may say. Hmmm...alright, I still have like 6 more days to think, but most probably I'm not running.

Anyway, thanks jac and feiyan for cabbing me home. love you all. :)

2007-04-19T11:19:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling really down. I didn't went to school today. I was too pissed to even go. And what my parents want was a wonderful result slip for mid year papers rather than for me to be happy. Once my determination runs dry, I'm giving up on the books, and that's it. Why should I give them good results when in return, they gave me nothing but such pain and disappointment. In their eyes, I'm so sure that I'm stereotyped as a lazy bitch, giving them tons and tons of trouble. It's stupid to even think that they would at least understand, yet making their own daughter into a much more terrible state, big thanks.

I feel like escaping, leaving this damn place, definitely not meant for me. Yes, even my sister.

2007-04-18T23:29:00.000-07:00

Hi, back for some updates. Life is like living hell, full of nonsensical bullshit. I'm struggling my way, trying to think of all the positives if possible and finding all the answers to my questions. It's so not the first time I'm having the feeling of being ignored, words that came out from sudden conversations, not even once recognised or even considered. I almost flew up to the sky, my hopes were so high yet drastically, I fell. It was all a lie. I realised 'hopes' are meant for 3 year old young kid, I was just a plain lil loser. I just don't get it. Why are they giving me hopes? They ended up giving me nothing but pain, making me more disappointed than ever. I'm not moltivated to study. Why should I study and pissed myself off? Why am I working so hard? Just for you? Do i really need to show you the damn cert and make you feel proud? In the end, I gained nothing, nothing but just a piece stupid paperwork and saving myself from the embarassment for being the almost retained student. AND EVEN IF I PASSED OS WITH FLYING COLOR, I don't need a fcuking beautiful handphone because i don't give a damn. CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT I WANT? SO WHY CAN'T YOU DO IT FOR ME? WHY? why just can't you fulfil my only wish? Am i really asking for too much?

I'm really getting sick and tired from all your repeated and standardised words, it makes me feel so terrible. The only way out is to go the fastest and hardest way, I'll show you. I need to.............. because you just don't know the seriousness of the problem, you're not me. Why should you even make it like you so totally understand? Just end my misery, stop making things worse for me. Dont try to understand me anymore because you'll never.........forever. Sometimes, I wished I was dead. Maybe this way, they'll realised the pain within me. It hurts when someone so close blabber something so wrong. It really hurts. I really think i should die.

Seriously, being such a 'nice' person, smilling like as if you own the world, behaving in a way so undescribable. Just the mask one's wearing, hiding everything from reality, making sure it goes your way. Acting like somewhat 'a bitch' and that's so....................well.

2007-04-17T02:38:00.000-07:00

Trying so hard, wanting so much and letting it go. At the verge of giving all up, have a taste of a normal routine and a sincere smile. Being such a happy person in everyone's eye, i can't deny. I'm happy, at least for now.

Thanks to my angels, for giving me so much. I appreciate all of your existence because it is more than enough.

2007-04-14T05:49:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when the past hits my head, I realised I do hate myself. I would asked myself why couldn't I just be nicer to her? Why did i even treat her coldly? Why did I even hurt her? Just what's wrong with me? Why did i choose to treat her that way when i clearly know that she was so good to me? Why just can't i appreciate and cherish her? I'm really sorry, I just can't forgive myself whenever the past just gave a sudden attack to my brains, it makes me feel like shit because i think she don't deserve to be treated that way.

Went for dance today, met Jiaseeka, Jac, Gayle, Peishan for breakfast. Headed to bugis with Mande, Gayle and Jiaseeka. We bought many stuffs and I think shopping kills because I'm so totally broke now, no more cash left at home. I shall stop going out and start saving money all over again, till after exams. And yes, stacy cancelled tuition, should have stayed longer. anyway, i love pigs :)
And, thanks jess ah mei for waiting the bus with me, i love you :) truthfully!

2007-04-13T02:17:00.001-07:00

My stress level is reaching till the point that it is so gonna burst anytime. I so totally wished that I was a newbie and all I could do in school everyday was to just plainly slack and wait for time to pass. But yes, dream on. Back to reality, am supposed to chiong Os. I really need to study but still ain't making any effort to even stare at the book. I'm out on sat almost every single week and that explains my laziness, I'm obviously trying to get away from books and tuition homeworks! My wonderful tutor claimed that I'm so supposed to pass my math for mid year which I seriously think that IT IS SO IMPOSSIBLE. Out of that, i really love my tutor, and i've got totally no intentions to disappoint her because she was so good to me. However, it's not that i don't wanna do well for my math, but i'm really quite far behind now. I missed out the part on 'Shearing', and Helmi did tried explaining it to me, but indeed, just blankness in the mind. Oh yes, I think my POA sucks as well, I'm totally lost. I don't understand the topic on Partnership and I seriously need help. I think I'll be crying when i'm back to school next year for my result. Schoolwork's such a pain and coursework kills. Combined humanities and Combined science, I'm so sure that I'm gonna flunk my mid year papers. Oh well :/

Class today was fine. Skipped P.E lesson. Stayed in class. I'm like so into malay language, trying hard to learn and I hope that i would be able to speak like any typical malay soon which I think will take me more than a year, but it doesn't hurt to even try. Thanks Azmeel, had been pestering him to teach me Malay these days. Omg tempat ini panas siaa :) I'm off.

2007-04-10T01:01:00.000-07:00

another boring day in school. almost today. i felt rather upset today, felt like some spoiler. No recess days for me anymore.

2007-04-07T10:21:00.000-07:00

Hello, 7 days since last blogged. Anyway, we lost danceworks, and i sweared that i'm damn affected. I was really hoping to let shah feel proud for us, but we failed. I know it's already tough enough to enter the top 4 but i just feel that we could do even better. I really hate myself for screwing up the dance. Firstly, the energy level was rather low, my hair was going all over my face, the board was terribly screwed up as one of the dancers did not tear out the letter 'U' which seriously pissed many people off. I just feel that we were down for luck, always being looked down at, always being mocked at. And, I seriously wanna emphasized that people who are over-confident should die :) They laughed at us, imitate our steps and even think that it was even funny. It's even more exciting when they claimed that they were the best and were so sure of being the champions. Oh man, what a pain in the ass. kiss my foot dogs. Just watch you bitches, I'm gonna out-do you all, and i mean every single one of you. Don't make it as if you were the only ones who knows about whacking, locking, popping and all, dance is not just about being so hiphop, noobs. There are so many types of dance, how much do you know? Do you even have dance knowledge? I totally doubt so. Maybe you think you're too good to be true, but to us you're like doggies who barks, so please behave. Being sarcastic and all doesn't help you in winning the champions, dogs. No offence.

Anyway, now i finally realised that even my own closed ones don't give a damn about my interest at all, should not even reserve the stupid tickets. Hate feeling so shag, and hate it when someone totally shows no interest about something that i loved. It's like being so disappointed, so disappointed that you would say no more.

Went out to eat with Jiaseeka, Iman, Mel, Haq, Young, Vonne and Peishan. Had fun.
Anyway, thanks for coming and support people. Thanks stacy and cousin for the pretty flowers, love you all.

I'm tired, sick of being ignored. I know she's every bit better than me. You should just leave me and go to her since she's so great.

2007-03-31T10:25:00.000-07:00

Hopeless life. I seriously can't imagine if i'd ever make it to poly, i'll have one big problem that will affect me forever. you'll see me going crazy, feeling very sad, feeling so hopeless and lifeless. Even my parents tells me off the other day, home is just another place where nobody is there so i'd rather spent the time outside slacking with my friends. Two weeks already, nothing changed, i'm still the same. stop lying to me, stop making me wait, cause i'm gonna end up being disappointed like the past. everything is making me so tired, now, i dont think i even wanna go to poly. i'll live in misery and that's for sure. everyone claimed that they understand and all, but in fact they dont. they are not me, ppl around are just better off no matter how bad the situation is. i dont believe everyone went through it before because for now, i'm the only one having this problem and everyone is enjoying their teenage life, not caring a single bit about flaws, or maybe they dont even have it. And, i cant focus on m studies, i totally can't. This problem is killing me, it's affecting me really badly, especially this year. No one can help me, no one can be there. What is said are bullshit, hate liars, not helping me at all. just sick, really sick of all the bullshit god gave me. Having your life being so sad and depressed is nothing but a pain.

AND STOP BEING SARCASTIC. I KNOW YOU'RE INDIRECTLY ATTACKING MY FLAWS.

2007-03-19T10:56:00.000-07:00

oh great. got send home today and still have to go back to school for dance.

2007-03-18T06:42:00.001-07:00

say goodbye to the friendship, it totally faded away, totally. i dont need to depend on anyone, i'm trained.

stop making it like you're the bad person and all. to others, i am. so stop it man, if you think by writing those helps alot, then you're so wrong. i'm not coming back because you're still the same. selfish. you only want the best for yourself because you dont wanna be alone. i feel used.

I want a relax life, without stress from anyone, without being chained. i wanna be free.

2007-03-18T06:42:00.000-07:00

2007-03-15T01:48:00.000-07:00

I'm not a loner, not someone chained, not someone being controlled. It's my personal rights to make friends, no interference, and you simply have no business in it. please, for once, get everything clear.

I'm really sick and tired of you, totally, your presence is giving me pressure and pain. Thanks for all that you've given and now I'm exploded. Yes, over and over, you wanted to try. but to me, it seems that you're trying to force me off, make me angry and you're so satisfied. All thanks to you that the friendship is now totally broken, and i'm not gonna be the one picking up the pieces, not even you. Even if you wanna be back like the past, you're gonna be one-sided. I'm sick of my life, thanks for adding on to the misery, and now that i no longer care. Stop treating me like someone under the bars, stop blaming everything on the others and stop being selfish. Being selfish, always thinking about yourself yet you expect others to think of you. Yes, the fact is that friends come and go, no doubts. You're no longer my best, because you only wants the best for yourself, not giving a damn about how others feel. I realised that i was so wrong about you, i thought i could try at least, but you're just being over sensitive and you just care about yourself. ALL YOU CARE IS YOURSELF, THAT'S NOT WHAT FRIENDS ARE FOR. DONT MAKE IT LIKE YOU KNOW THE DEFINATION OF FRIENDS, IN FACT, YOU DON'T KNOW AT ALL. SO NOW LET ME TYPE OUT HOW I FEEL. friends are not only the ones who would be there for you. if you expect them to be there, then where are you? because of all your doings, i no longer need you by my side, i dont need you to be there. isn't it obvious? If you are my best friend, i would need you, but now i no longer need you at all. stop trying, i'm so tired of listening to your nonsense, i'm happier now, just let it stay this way. because we both changed.

Instead of finding out the problem, always putting the faults on others, it doesnt help much this way. AND LET ME TELL YOU, STOP USING CRYING TO SOLVE PROBLEMS, IT ONLY MAKES THINGS WORSE. i know you're weak and i'm strong, cry all you want, i'm not going to be there. YOU CAUSED ALL THESE GIRL, DONT EXPECT ME TO CLEAR UP THE MESS, IT FADED AWAY.

AND YOU JUST CHANGED, YOU CHANGED INTO ANOTHER PERSON. YOU ARE NOT HER ANYMORE, ALL YOU ARE NOW IS JUST PLAINLY BEING SELFISH, IGNORANT AND OVER SENSITIVE. COUNT THE TIMES YOU'VE HURT ME EVEN WITHOUT REALISING IT. COMMENTING ON ME, BEING INSENSITIVE TOWARDS OTHER PEOPLE'S FEELINGS. JUST THINK GIRL, THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE. GAME OVER AND I'M OFF ALONE, WITHOUT YOU.

2007-03-13T21:18:00.000-07:00

wow humans these days are funny and more of ridiculous. i'm pissed off. and you know, nowadaes people are trying to make my life even miserable than before. how cool.

2007-03-12T19:16:00.000-07:00

had chinese and eng oral yesterday. for chinese, say goodbye. i really think that i'm super unlucky, i'm the last to take the eng oral. LAST! and is like i waited for 2 hours looking at the ceiling and doing nothing when my friends are happily enjoying the bonding session for dance club. but thinking back now, i'm glad that i did quite well for my eng oral, tcher said that i was good :) but hopefully, i can do as well for my Os.

after the oral, went up to music room, we watched many of our dance perfs, really very gone case. the most exciting one is the danceworks, can see how retarded we are, we cried for dont know how long. gina and si en ordered pizza for us! after dance practice, gina and si en treat us sakae, how nice of them :) but seriously, i hate people who tries to fit in and OBVIOUSLY THEY DONT AND IS LIKE THE MANAGER'S ATTITUDE SUCK OKAY.

LASTLY. IM SO FCUKING WRONG ABOUT BOTH OF THEM. WOW WAD GREAT LEADERS THEY ARE, TALKED BEHIND OUR BACK. YOU BOTH ARE THE ONES WHO HAVE A FCUKING ATTITUDE LA. WHY EVEN CLAIMED THAT WE DRIVE THE SEC TWOSSSSSSSSSSSS AWAY. LIKE HELLO? DONT BECAUSE YOU THINK YOU HAVE THE MOST HIGHEST POSITION THAT U HAVE EVERY SINGLE RIGHTS TO CRAP UR NONSENSE OKAY. IF YOU DARE SAY IT RIGHT INFRNT OF ME YOU BOTH LOSERSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. IF I HEARD ANYTHING LIKE THIS AGAIN, DONT BLAME ME FOR BEING UNREASONABLE.

2007-03-08T01:55:00.000-08:00

Pathetic, i should say, having the days ahead being so unpleasant. Having selfish-natured and insensible beings around can be such a pain, even more irritating than ever.

2007-03-05T19:59:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, i just dont feel like talking, i just want some peace, just wanna escape from everything. i just hope for something, hope to be happy, hope for satisfaction. everything in my life, nothing good, thousands of unwanted flaws. nobody's there for me, and always the one expected to be there for the others. It's the fact that i changed, i know i did. All the changes, all the attitude, all because of you. If you did treasure in the first place, it won't happen this way. even now, if i'm not happy with you, i cant even let you know. i dont even really wanna talk to you and you clearly know that. Everything started last year, and it's hard to pick up those broken pieces again, you know it's impossible. you know my attitude towards you, you know it but you're acting like as if nothing happened. so long since i really smile for one whole day, and yes, i dont care anymore. i hate people relying on me when they clearly know that i'm stressed about certain stuffs and you can just throw that huge rock above me, it's fatal girl. maybe you didn't realise that you just killed me totally. By giving a damn in physical and having so much comments and even hurt me without realising it, it's just being plain selfish and insensitive. i'm disappointed and i dont care anymore. it's obvious isn't it? i dont care anymore. i dont need someone to depend so much on me, i really dont need it. i'm sensitive and i hate being treated that way, really hate it. in my eyes, you only spare a thought for yourself, just plainly yourself, not giving a damn about how i would feel. dont blame me for being such a bitch recently because my heart died just few weeks ago. you'll see someone retarded being happy this moment, and pissed off the next. you can see it almost everyday for now. i can't control my emotions, so dont tell me you are hurt because you've hurt me more than enough. that's all for now. finally could pour out those unwanted substance out of my mind. bye.

2007-03-04T03:25:00.000-08:00

new blog skin, under construction still.

i still cant believe that we actually made it to the finals, that day was memorable. feel everyone's joy, tears rolling down, eyeliner's smudged. what a day :) feel so proud of my dancers, but obviously not all. because i know some skip dance just to hang out with guys, and worse, to enjoy the fame of being a dancer when she can't dance at all. she's just one spastic hypocrite dancer, and so known as "shi quan shi mei", sorry she's the one who says so. and i can't see any passion in her, it's like i can't feel that she even likes to dance, she's just another show off. i'm totally disgusted, really.

anw, went out with shan, gayle and mande yesterday. it was so fun! going out on coming sat again, love my girls. muack.

2007-02-28T05:24:00.000-08:00

omg i feel damn sianned. so shag alr, still got someone there to irritate me, thinking that i'm even the joke of day. all thanks to some crap that i totally cant seem to focus at all and i'm at the verge of giving up. i thought i could study phy, but end up thinking of something else. im damn affected. i dont know how to forget, being sensitive is bad. having friend who laughed instead of caring for you, makes your day worse ten times. im off now. bye. wish me luck for the rest of the yr.

anw, thanks ah di for listening. :)

2007-02-25T05:14:00.000-08:00

OMG WE GOT INTO TOP 4 FOR DANCEWORKS!

2007-02-22T05:57:00.000-08:00

oh damn, been feeling pissed off lately. really having a hard time fighting over my own emotions and sensitiveness, because i totally can't control my own temper. i feel offended, irritated, frustrated and i can't stand it when i'm treated like as if i rule the world, as if i know every single lil thing about the earth and all the living things. I'm tired, as always.

For now, disappointed, uttery disappointed with almost everything about that lil puzzle.

and yea, i think some childish people created mary soh's acc. i think they don't know her at all, she's a great person. i used to hate her, but after knowing more about her, she's really great. i think it's time to stop all the nonsense and get on with your life, it's like hurting other people's feelings without realising and that's really mean because it reflects only about your childishness. be mature and grow up.

2007-02-17T19:58:00.000-08:00

went to sch early yesterday to practice our dance. everything was like super rushing. anw, thanks andreas for styling our hair. i'm so proud of jac and ian, they really did us proud man! :) yes, dance won 3rd in the costume making, thanks edwin for helping out as well.

and lastly, wanna thanks my crew for putting effort in the dance, love you all.

happy new yr to all.

2007-02-14T07:21:00.000-08:00

i'm very irritated by certain things recently and i do get irritated overly easily. ed's injured and i serious dont wanna continue with the guys' dance, it's so plain without him. it's like he put in so much extra effort in the dance, and i rather postpone the dance for the next upcoming event or whatsoever. i seriously got no time to change the blocking so i'm just gotta stick with the old one because i doubt anyone's gonna remember it.

one more thing, STOP ASKING ME HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY THENNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN OR WHATSOEVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. IM HUMAN, IM NOT ONE WHO KNOWS EVERYTHING SINGLE LIL THING.
EVERYONEEEEEEEEEEEEE JUST STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONSSSSSSSS.

2007-02-13T04:30:00.001-08:00

prince eye's got injured just 3 days before perf which is today, what bad luck. get well soon edwin pheeeeeeeeee. gonna postpone the dance to a further date. :)

anw, POA is making me retardedly stress, dont think i can catch up at all.
had dance skit after POA remedial and we celebrated ian's birthday! happy bdae darl. seriously, just feel that some of the juniors are not putting any effort in making the props for our dancework, it's like they are not being serious at all, except for one rare sec 2.

i feel offended very easily nowadays. i dont like everyone to keep asking me questions, it's like i'm not someone who knows everything single lil thing.

2007-02-09T08:22:00.000-08:00

being a choreographer ain't easy, not at all. i rememebered shah's saying, you wouldn't know until you experienced it yourself. now, i feel it, feel the pain. like when you're really trying hard to improve the dance, no one's listening but playing. on the other hand, being a bad person, and shouting to the rest. it's making me like as if i'm such a bossy person, making me feel like a total fool. having to scream, having to shout, making people think that i suck. trying to improve everyone, trying to make them remember the steps, trying to make all of them look good on stage. it's not as if i love pissing people off, it's just that i really want both dance item to go well, but it's going on to the negative side. the attitude, the expression, the steps, it tells me all. Tells me that no one believed in me, and i'm a irritating dog. yes, how great to feel like an idiot who only seek for the best.

2007-02-05T20:58:00.000-08:00

you're always the one expecting so much from me. it's like as if i'm never sad before. haha that's so true. dont mind me for saying that all along, you only cared for yourself. dont make it like you're thr for me before, it always looks like as if it as, but it's not. alright. you're making me more tired now, i'm off.

2007-02-05T20:20:00.000-08:00

happy 15th birthday jiaseeka ah mei! :) hope you love the pressies.

anw, thanks uncle loh for helping out with the cream puff even though abit cannot make it. thanks jess for the boxer :)

anw, life's making me so sad, almost too sick to carry on. yes, i looked that strong, and i'm gonna be. i wont rely on anyone, i'm depending on myself. i dont need all sort of crap from anyone, i dont have to do it your way, i dont have to suffer myself. i shall just throw everything away, leave it all aside, aint gonna pick it up. friendship is just like a burning matchstick, once the wind blows, the flame is gone and will never come back once more.

for me, i realised how much my friend dont understand about me. our distance's getting even further, i'm not gonna catch up with your life because i dont need someone who dont understand me to be there. and i dont need someone to repeat everything again and again. i dont need someone to give me attitude when she can't do any of the choreography. i dont need someone to hurt me so much and she dont realise it. i dont need someone to throw any attitude at me once i get close to some other people, that's just being over sensitive. it's like not even realising that you're doing the same. seriously, i hate answers like I'M SUPPOSED TO. if anyone's gonna tell me that. get away from me.
i hate to feel so fcuking irritated. you can cry all you want. why cant i? it's just that i dont show it all out. yes, that shows it all, you're bullied by me. seriously, i dont care anymore, i'm too tired. it's like being stress everyday, it makes me too exhausted.

yes girl, i'm always happy. and yes, this is the end. let's not drag and that's straightforward enough.

2007-02-01T18:04:00.000-08:00

just realised that i didn't blog for so many days. school has been a pain, hate being called out during morning assembly. late for school for so many days, finally get to go back to seat at the parade square. promised my poa tcher that i'm gonna lengthen my skirt, she's better in the sense that she respect us, so in return, i'll respect her.

sec 4 life is damn busy, you can't really enjoy like how you used to anymore. just like the lit lesson we had two days ago, about missing the past and all the great memories. i dont wanna give it all up, i dont wanna concentrate on Os, i want to dance all the way with dance club. i hate missing the people, the teachers, the instructor and the routines, it makes me feel so terrible. currently busy with two dance routines, hope i could complete it on time, if not... =/ tsk, havent complete the positions and all, so stressed up, hope i can complete at least half of it tomorrow. wish me luck.

anyway, i hate this prefect. i seriously think that she ruined 'carmen''s beautiful name. so rude and so disgusting, trying so harddddddddd. some prefects are losers, they just hope for all the attention. and yah, dream on dog.

2007-01-24T22:59:00.000-08:00

im damn stress esp cny is coming. i don wanna screw up the dance item. dance steps all not completed. only 3 more practices and the choreo suck. waaa sianned

2007-01-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

i'm here to vent my irritation and frustration, all thanks to my stupid coursework. i worked on the essays for an hour in school and i did save it. but the file went missing, there's only my old document in the work space. wth can, my effort and hardwork all gone. and now, at home trying to find the sources yet nothing relevant came out as it is before. i'm really damn irritated because i think that my essay was quite good and yet this kinda stupid thing happened. i seriously think that this world hates me, everything went wrong like always. is like dance, study and friendship, stupid problems. enough of it. i cant see anyone putting in any effort, i'm the totally one sided idiot.

ah whatever la what to do. god hates me.

2007-01-14T05:44:00.000-08:00

here to blog about my yesterday and today's events. really really wanna thanks peishan, gayle, mande, jac, jessica(s), ian, kwan for everything!

went to school yesterday for sec one orientation. we performed our danceworks for yesterday's orrientation. some senior teachers commented that our dressing was too revealing which i think they are seriously overly outdated. we're dancing hiphop, and it doesn't really matters whether you reveal yourself or not, is not as if it's really THAT revealing, i mean like i think it's like so exaggerated. yea, at least we managed to pull some sec ones to join the club, including the boys. i dont get it, i think guys who dance are really cool, i just dont get it why they think guys who dance are gayyysss. and another thing is, mel came to school with presents for me! omg i really miss her alot, love her to bits!!! after the orientation, gayle and mande told me that they're going home first, really didn't expect a surprise for the girls. Thanks pigs and ah shan! i really appreciate it, enjoyed the whole thing.

met shan just now. catched a movie. really enjoyed myself, i love the presents from her. so sweet! but so paiseh can, purposely give me such a BIG PLASTIC BAG, make me so gone. haha love you la kay. i promised you, will keep your precious clip well :) Thanks for making everything so special for me. I'm happy :D thanks shan. shopping soon kay! love you loaddds.
Thanks mic for the nice bag, bracelet and shirt. Thanks mel for the 13 gifts. Thanks gayle and mande for the DBSK stuffs. Thanks jess for the mini celebration and your gifts. Thanks jac and jess ser for the jacket. Thanks people for the wishes and all :) lovelove.

2007-01-12T23:15:00.000-08:00

my belly piercing is like damn swollen. it's like always bleeding which is like so sickening.

anyway, wanna thanks some people.

thanks amos for buying the gloves for me.
thanks akmal for getting the gloves for me.
thanks jacklyn and jessica ser for the jacket.
thanks jiaseeka for everything! :)

and thanks for the shoes mum even though i feel idiotic because i bought the shoes without knowing the price. how stupid can. wth, alright, looking forward for perf tml, hope i dont forget any steps.

2007-01-11T16:01:00.000-08:00

hello. been so sickeningly busy these days, busy till i could hardly breathe. i didnt went for phy remedial because i dont understand waves and i dont wanna waste my time by just plainly sitting or sleeping. monday dance, tues skit, wed dance, thurs remedial, fri dance, sat tuition. schedule is damn packed can. damn hate sec 4 life, teachers are a pain even. alot of homeworks, alot of crap for tuition. i really dont wanna study, i got no intention of taking Os. hate busy life, really hate it. every week tuition twice, it's like making me stress. im almost dead alr. next week schedule will be ten times worse :( haisssssssss.

i just dont feel right. either she or me. i dont know.

2007-01-07T17:16:00.000-08:00

really really upset.
realy really shag.
really really stress.
really really frustrated.
really very no mood.

:(
hoping for better days ahead.

2007-01-06T23:46:00.000-08:00

deleted. because no one understands.

2007-01-06T19:25:00.000-08:00

omg my damn brother is irritating me so badly. and everyone is giving me attitude. how great, i wasn't feeling good these few days and i'm damn stress. my tutor almost went crazy yesterday, which makes me stress ten times more. thought anyone would be there to make me feel better but so not can. already damn sian still wanna make me even more shag, stop being mean la. i got no motivation to do well in Os anymore because everyone is being mean, all thanks to them.

2007-01-04T23:41:00.000-08:00

i'm having so much stress now. need to cope with many stuffs. dancework, skit, SYF, school work, tuition. really very tired, not enough rest :( shagggggg. Os suck, teachers are always emphasizing on that, what a stress year. :( miss sec 3 life.

2007-01-01T18:51:00.000-08:00

hello, back from hk yesterday. seriously, hk's service is bad, really bad compared to singapore. most of the ppl there have got attitude problems, to make things even worse, they would even shout at you for nothing and get frustrated when you asked them any questions. omg singapore is way better than hk, as in service. but some hks are nice, as in they are willing to help and all, just some i emphasized. and yah, sorry daddy, sorry for being such a prick in your face. i understand what you're going thru, i really do.

anw, reached home after 3pm. shan came over and we went to meet jac at bedok train station. it's jac birthday yesterday. happy happy belated ah jac! went to find jessica at Toys'r'us, slacked and talked. oh and, thanks jac for the pizza treat! we waited for jessica and feiyan to be dismissed, they were planning to give her a surprise. jac cried when she saw the cakey, she was so touched :D and yes, i choked while eating the cakey, i think i almost die. next, went to countdown at marina with the bdae girl and shan, jess and the rest went home. omg the fireworks were so beautiful! the crowd was so big, and that place is hotttttt, really damn hotttttttttttt. and the ppl there is seriously a typical singaporean, they are like damn kiasu for goodness sake, push and push and push till i could hardly breathe. shared a cab with jac and shan and homed around 3am.

happy new yr to all my cherished.

2006-12-28T03:15:00.000-08:00

hello im back. just felt like blogging. had a few conversations with old friends just now, it feels great to do some catching up. hope to meet up with them soon. and yea of cus new friends whose like sickoly retarded. i'm having such great mood today after so long you may say. it's great to talk to your best friend on the phone again, chatting online and text-message each other. 1 hr and 45 mins to 5am!

2006-12-28T02:26:00.000-08:00

okay melissa is so bored over here. gonna be up later at 5am and i just cant sleep thanks to my afternoon nap earlier on. i'm so proud of myself, i've finally completed reading a more than 500 pages storybook. that's an acheivement for me this year to have even completed reading a storybook! The story was such a sad one, fate really kills. the tittle of this really special book is 'where rainbow ends'. it was about this two best friends who know each other since childhood, they didnt know they like each other then. soon they grow up and all, the guy alex wanted to be a doc while the girl rosie wanted to be working in a hotel because she just love hotelsss. alex got to know this girl named betthany when he was punished as to work at his dad's office, soon he was dating her. Rosie called her slutty betthany because Alex hardly had anytime for her and she felt jealoousy. They always sent mails to each other no matter how busy they are to know what they're going through. Alex was away to Bonston to study and Rosie was left in Dublin. Alex promised to make it to grad but the flight screwed up, so she end up going with Brian the whine whom Alx and her hated the most but she's out of any options because Alex couldn't turn up. and soon enough, things happened, Rosie was pregnant, Brian the whine got her pregnant. she named her Katie. she changed nappies for her, rock her and everything, she was going through the toughiest days, her parents were supposrtive and there for her. Alex was to be Katie's goddfather, he came over to Dublin to visit her a few times. years and years passed, soon enough, Katie was having her seventh birthday party. Alex met Sally and they were getting married. He invited Rosie to be his best woman and Katie to be their flower girl on the day of his marriage. when Rosie went over to Boston, they went thru a silence, a silence that's meant for them, Rosie kissed him and Alex was shocked. soon, Alex and Sally had their first baby, Josh.

-to be continued.

2006-12-27T23:54:00.000-08:00

flying over the hk tmr. hope to grab loads of great stuffs over to sg. farewell my friends. i love my bestie. looking forward to countdown.

2006-12-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

sorry, i think i really need a very long break this time round. this is actually the first time that we didn't really talk for so many days and all. dont blame me for that, maybe i've changed. i became selfish, i need some space to breathe after so many idiotic nonsense. like suddenly, i'm not motivate to move on. you so used to be there for me, but during the hols, you're not there. maybe i'm still as strong to you, but many times i needed you and you're not there. many times. well, i'm not there for you always like you've said. that's fair, maybe that's fate as well. i just realised, friendship dont last. see my point? nothing last. i lost hope, dont believe in anything anymore.

i think i can't be your that important friend anymore. maybe we're reaching the limit. i know i'm mean but do you know? do you really know how upset i really am? do you know? do you know how i felt? i just wanna get out of all this shit because our friendship is slowly fading awayyyyyyy

i thought im giving all i could for our friendship, but maybe it's not even working. everything's lost.